You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
