fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We need to get me chipped asap
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
