I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
