Are we in a gay sports bar?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
