I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
