So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
