I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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