The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
