My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
