At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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