Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
