yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
