Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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