He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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