Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

sarcasm needs its own font

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(727): View more from Florida

You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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(707): View more from California

admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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(719): View more from Colorado

there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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(562): View more from California

Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?

(916): View more from California

My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass

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(661): View more from California

I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out

(1-661): View more from California

Don't we all.

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