i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize