omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Randomize