she looked like the bat from fern gully.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
