I think im going to throw up on grandma
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize