I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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