We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
