After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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