Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I understand Curling. That high.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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