You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
