i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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