I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
