Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
