I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
