i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize