This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
