He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
God, I missed his penis.
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