it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
