Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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