i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fuck appropriateness.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
