he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
