If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
