gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
