I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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