Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize