is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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