she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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