nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
