oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize