i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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