Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
