Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
