its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it hurts more in the daytime
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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