Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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