Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
