508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
