next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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