There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Every concussion has its silver lining
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
