you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
