Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
