so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
