Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
