Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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