She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
