I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
