Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
