I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
