God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
