Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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