Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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