never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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