I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
